Why?

I hate this! Constantly waiting constantly hoping only to crash into the ground. Hard, dead, waiting, wanting. Do you even care what I want? Do you even know? Only worried about who'll suck you right or if I'm interested in 2-on-1. What if I wanted more than that? What if I wanted permission to call just cuz I could?
Do I have to have a reason just to listen to your voice? Can't I be a part of something wonderful and spectacular? With you? Only you? I don't want to have to share. Even before we reached this phase I was the other girl, the one who did the things your girlfriends didn't. I be came your go-to-girl and I was proud, happy even that you thought I was important enough for such a task.
And when you made it permanently grounded in reality I was over the moon! I told my best friends in the world! They told me to go for it. Now I wish I hadn't, Do you care? I doubt it.

This is the hindu entry in english. Just in case you were wondering. This is a poem I wrote about a month ago about a problem I was having. Writing makes me feel better and I think its way better than yelling at someone at the top of your lungs. Try it! You may find that its a better outlet for your feelings.